Safety for Our Children in this Society / Lloyd

safety in a society unraveling

I began working with marginal groups in the early 70’s as a New York City methadone maintenance counselor -- and later during the 90’s in Maryland as an out-patient mental health worker and as a volunteer in state prison facilitating non-violence groups.

Currently I work in California as a licensed Senior Psychiatric Technician in a maximum security, state psychiatric hospital, and for a 5-year period I volunteered in state prison facilitating a pre-release group for inmates incarcerated for sexual offenses.

I’ve witnessed that those who violate fundamental moral and ethical principles defined within the Ten Commandments disproportionately find themselves working through episodes of intense unrest, contention, and anger.  Also, defeat, hopelessness, and despair. This observation is dramatic among the marginal groups but also holds within the general population.

A society unraveling morally demonstrates many unhealthy, emotional behaviors. We have all witnessed over-the-top rage and intense ridicule, sometimes with vengeful retaliation, whenever religious leaders publicly encourage adherence to the Ten Commandments and scriptural values. We ask ourselves, where is there safety in such a society, and how do we prepare our children and grandchildren?

principles of safety for our children & grandchildren

I believe we need to teach our children to fear God more than man and what society can do to us. They must experience early in life that their truest validation comes from God himself and that personal revelation from God is very real and open to them.

I believe it is essential that as parents we not only model in plain sight what we teach as our children walk with us, but also that we include them when we have course corrections to make in our own lives. Children need to behold the tenderness of a merciful God in action especially during the repentance process.

I believe that parents and others who honor their faith provide a natural, positive contrast in society when they live fundamental moral and ethical principles.

One of the most tragic lessons I learned as a drug addiction counselor in New York City was the destruction of hope and personal value among the children of hypocritical adults who publicly espoused one set of values and secretly lived -- but never secret enough to hide from their children -- the opposite lifestyle.

And most important perhaps for the blessing of those around us, I believe we need to teach our children to acknowledge virtue in others whatever their belief system and to thoughtfully validate that goodness. I am especially encouraged that our grandchildren are wonderfully inclusive at school.

not an academic exercise

This year Judy & I will have in our immediate family 20 adults and 40 grandchildren. The principles above have come hard learned and daily refined.

Beginning with a Few Particular Alterations to our Laws / Lloyd

In the 1980 Annual General Conference one speaker spoke of a future day:

“Nor are the days of our greatest sorrows and our deepest sufferings all behind us. They too lie ahead. We shall yet face greater perils, we shall yet be tested with more severe trials, and we shall yet weep more tears of sorrow than we have ever known before. . .

“The way ahead is dark and dreary and dreadful. There will yet be martyrs; the doors in Carthage shall again enclose the innocent. We have not been promised that the trials and evils of the world will entirely pass us by.

“If we, as a people, keep the commandments of God; if we take the side of the Church on all issues, both religious and political; if we take the Holy Spirit for our guide; if we give heed to the words of the apostles and prophets who minister among us—then, from an eternal standpoint, all things will work together for our good.

“Our view of the future shall be undimmed, and, whether in life or in death, we shall see our blessed Lord return to reign on earth . . .”

These many years since hearing this discourse I’ve wondered what issues or circumstances would create such a situation for Our People.

Prior to that conference address, when wandering through the Dachau Concentration Camp near Munich and even driving through the German countryside where I was stationed, I wondered whether we in the United States were capable of the evil of that Camp.

Recently, with the beheadings of Coptic Christians, I figured that as a world-wide church such dreadful scenarios might very well occur to our members but in far away places.

Nevertheless, the earnestness of Senior Church Leaders during the recent Jan 27th News Conference on Religious Freedom and Nondiscrimination suggests the issues they presented merit more careful consideration than a passing glance.

Furthermore, current actions against religion and religious values in our own country, beginning with a few particular alterations to our foundational law, are being directed against men and women of all Faiths and against religious affiliated organizations especially.

Judy - The Layette: What You'll Need, And What You Won't #4

If you read the women's and baby magazines and many blogs, you get entirely the wrong idea of what is necessary. Forget all that specialized equipment like changing tables, baby bathtubs, wipes warmers, cradles, etc. In my opinion, all you really need are a car seat, crib, chest of drawers, high chair (which you won't need for a few months), stroller, diaper bag and some kind of carrier like a MOBY (see below).

Babies create enough clutter with just their clothes, toys and diapers. Most of that other stuff is used for such a short period of time that unless you are planning to have lots of children, or maybe share it with friends and relatives, it's not worth the money and storage space. Of course if people give it to you, take it and enjoy it.

There is, however, one item that I used to think was a luxury that became a necessity--a baby swing. Sometimes, especially around dinner time, it was the only thing that soothed a fussy baby. Related to the swing is the bounce chair for the very young ones. Both of these things can make a difference during a busy time of day.

BEDS

You'll need a crib, of course, but I suggest you don't need it immediately. Newborns are used to being in a small, confined space and they often seem more comfortable wrapped up tight and placed in something smaller than a big crib. I understand that I, myself, slept in a dresser drawer for the first month. Today the car seat, for example, can provide an easy and portable bed at first. You place it beside your own bed and during the night you scoop up the baby to nurse almost without getting up, and neither one of you coming fully awake. This is nice while it lasts.

CHANGING STATIONS

As for a place to change the baby, you can do it right in the crib while the mattress is still high. If you put a quilt on a waist-high bureau and keep all the changing paraphernalia in one of the top drawers, you can keep one hand on the baby and still reach whatever you need. I found it was helpful to have two changing places--one in the bedroom and one in the living area, especially if they are on different floors. If your washer and dryer are nearby, they make a good spot if you put a quilt on top and keep a duplicate set of diapers,wipes, etc. in a plastic dishpan close at hand. Also, today there are all sorts of cool portable pads you can use wherever you are.

You'll probably find that being a mother brings out your most creative side. For instance, to change a very wriggly baby, even with all the changing tables I had, sometimes it was easier to lay her down on the floor and throw my leg over her stomach to hold her in place.

BATHING

I always used the kitchen sink until the baby was secure enough on his bottom to be in the big tub, then he took baths with all the other kids anyway. But for the small ones, the sink is attached to a counter which is waist-high and convenient. I realize that the idea of bathing the baby in the sink makes some people gag, so if it bothers you, use a large plastic dishpan. They function the same and are much cheaper than special bath tubs.

CONFINEMENT

There are times, especially during the crawling months, when you have to confine the curious little accident-waiting-to-happen. I’d suggest using gates and furniture rather than a porta crib or equivalent. Again, during dinner prep, a high chair is helpful for older babies.

We knew one mother of six who put a gate on a bedroom doorway and used the whole carpeted bedroom as a playpen. She made sure it was babyproof and she and the baby could see each other easily. When her children were a little older, toddlers and pre-schoolers, she put the gate across the family room and enclosed herself inside. She could watch what they were doing and they could see her close by. She was right there in case of a problem, but they weren’t crawling all over her while she tried to do something. Of course there are some kids who will always scream and try to crawl out of whatever place they’re put. In these cases, you’re on your own; here’s where your creativity will come in handy.

CARRIERS

Some kind of pack to carry the baby is invaluable, and not only when you’re away from home. At home I could carry the baby around the house while I worked; my hands were free and usually the baby was soothed from being held constantly. Along this line, have you noticed the “three foot rule?” Why do they always want to be held while you’re standing up and not while you’re sitting down? It’s one of life’s mysteries, but it is so.

There are several kinds of carriers, but I especially like the MOBY. They look a little complicated, but there are all sorts of videos on YouTube telling you how to wrap them. They are also kind of pricey so maybe you should ask for one as a gift.

I do want to warn you to start this pack-carrying immediately after birth, or at least the day you come home from the hospital. With our sixth child, MaryRuth, I made the mistake of waiting two or three weeks and she never liked it. You need to get used to it too and also you need to build up your muscles. You might have a child like one of ours that will remain nameless but whom we affectionately called,  “El Lunko,” and your back needs to be able to stand the strain.

Here’s an unrelated story about the baby carrier. With my first baby I walked everywhere in Brooklyn since we didn’t have a car. I had a useful but complicated harness thing that I carried her in. Once I was on my way to the bus stop when a car pulled up and the man said, “That’s really clever. I’ve never seen anything like that. How does it work?” I didn’t think anything about this because in those days very few people had one and I was always being asked about it. So I showed him how it all went together. Then he said, “How about if you get in the car and I’ll take you wherever you want to go?” I did think that was a little strange, but I politely said no, I was just heading to the bus stop. Then he said, “How old is your old man? Does he keep you satisfied?” I thought My “old man?” Does he mean my father? What’s he talking about? I started to walk on but he drove slowly alongside me, still insisting I get in the car and come with him. Fortunately as soon as I got to the bus stop, a bus came and I got on immediately. 

Later when I told Lloyd about this strange encounter, to my surprise he freaked out. “Why did you keep talking to him?” he demanded. “Couldn’t you tell he was some sort of pervert?” I hadn’t thought of that since I was from a small town in California and we didn't have any of those. "Besides," I said, "I didn’t want to be rude."

Next: Choosing a Name

Worlds Without Number for Mine Own Purpose / Lloyd

Pearl of Great Price: Moses 1:30, 33, 35, 38-39

And it came to pass that Moses called upon God, saying: Tell me, I pray thee, why these things are so, and by what thou madest them?  

. . . And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose  

. . . But only an account of this earth, and the inhabitants thereof, give I unto you. For behold, there are many worlds that have passed away by the word of my power. And there are many that now stand, and innumerable are they unto man; but all things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them . . .

And as one earth shall pass away, and the heavens thereof even so shall another come; and there is no end to my works, neither to my words.

For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.   

Comment

God reveals to Moses that his purpose is to bring to pass man’s immortality (body and spirit -- a unified living soul, never again to be separated in death) and eternal life (eternal family life, or continuing progeny without end).

If family life is the work and glory of God and the purpose of his endless creations, then our behavior and desires contrary to this end will necessarily require a Savior and an Atonement and an acknowledgement through personal confession that we have been at odds with our Father-in-Heaven’s purposes -- but no longer.

No matter what kingdom we merit as a result of mortality, resurrected beings may not exist in rebellion to Heavenly Father.

Judy - Pregnancy and Physicians #3

Doctors in my day

You’ll have a lot of questions as you go through your pregnancy, and the best source of answers is your doctor. Ask questions about anything. Between visits, every time you think of a question, write it down and take the list to your next appointment.

Having said that, here’s a warning about doctors. Don’t let them bully you! I’ve heard many older women say, “If a doctor talked to me like that today, I wouldn’t stand for it.” But when we’re young and a little scared of this new experience, and not used to being involved in medical stuff, we might feel so vulnerable and dependent that we don’t question them. The fact is, however, you have not lost your intelligence just because you’re pregnant. It’s your body and your baby, so don’t let them badger you.

When I was first pregnant, the male doctor always called me “little girl.” I didn’t like it and had the feeling he said it because he didn’t know my name, but I never said anything. In contrast, when I was forty years old and expecting my ninth baby, I walked into the examination room, and the doctor, whom I had never met before and looked like a teenager, greeted me with, “Hey, Judy. How are you today?” I answered, “Just fine, Bob. How are you?” I would not be intimidated by the use of my first name.

At some appointments you’ll be made to wait for hours. The basic assumption seems to be that the doctor’s time is more valuable than yours. One woman, a professional decorator, waited two hours to see her doctor. She said there was no emergency; it was simply a case of overbooking and the doctor coming in late. The woman didn’t say anything at the time, but later sent a bill for her usual fee for two hours of her time. Hah!

I tried to make it a rule not to wait longer than 45 minutes. After that, I rescheduled and walked out. If you often have to wait a long time, call the receptionist the day of your appointment and ask when you can realistically expect to be seen. Then go at that time. You should expect to be treated with respect; don’t settle for less from the physician or the office staff. This works in private or group practice but may be different in an HMO or community health, where all bets are off.

Doctors today

You might have to be assertive with the receptionist too. I was in several practices where I liked the doctor but the office staff was grumpy, officious and demeaning. Stand up for yourself and say something like, “Are you in a big hurry or are you trying to be rude?” If there is no improvement, tell the doctor, in writing if necessary. If you still don’t get satisfaction, change doctors if possible. There are many options and many personalities out there and they can make a big difference in your whole experience. Ask other mothers for their recommendations.

While we’re on the subject of pregnancy, I should mention something about the sad fact of miscarriages. I had two of them before my first child, then two more between my last two children. The first one was a terrible shock. Although I knew what a miscarriage was, I didn’t know anyone who’d had one. Afterwards, many people I knew came up to me and quietly told me about theirs. A miscarriage is not usually physically debilitating, but emotionally I was knocked off my feet, even after I had other children.

Part of the emotional difficulty, of course, is hormonal, and this seems to be the part the medical profession stresses the most. Doctors, who call it “a spontaneous abortion,” often shrug and say, “Well, it was for the best, and as soon as your hormones settle down, you’ll feel better.” I felt like they did not understand the wrenching loss it was--with or without hormones. We need to go through a painful but necessary grieving process, even if it occurs early in the pregnancy. No matter when a misscarriage happens, most often during the first trimester, that baby was very real to us, and we have to accept the loss of this child as we would a living child. In my case, I simply cried non-stop for two weeks and then afterwards felt sad everytime I thought of it.

I’ve since learned that as many as 20% to 30% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Each time the doctor told me that usually they are necessary because there is something wrong with the fetus. If this was supposed to be comforting, it failed. First of all, I never thought of my baby as a “fetus.” All I knew was that my beautiful baby was gone before I ever had a chance to see her. And I was devastated.

In addition, I was surprised to learn how hard it was for my husband as well. He also had to go through a period of sorrow and feelings of terrible loss. Eventually we learned how to comfort each other. Slowly, after bouts of depression and fits of crying, I began to come back to the world and look around me again. At first, I only wanted to see close friends, or my family, but eventually, I was able to face others as well. In time, I was even able to see pregnant women and babies without bursting into tears. The whole process is similar to any other form of grieving with the stages of denial, anger, sadness, and finally acceptance.

It may take a while, and you may need help -- family, friends and perhaps even professional, but this acceptance will eventually come to you too.

Next: The Layette, or Necessary Baby Stuff

Judy - Pregnancy As Preparation #2

Babies are probably the main reason we have children at all. The experience is similar to the old saying: everyone wants kittens but no one wants cats. If we could, some of us would have hundreds of them--babies, not cats. I found, too, that brand new babies are contagious. At least two of my children were born because I was exposed to a newborn when I was vulnerable. Babies are pure sensual pleasure. Like in the song by John Denver, they “fill up our senses.” They are a pleasure to look at, touch, smell (most of the time), and hear (again, most of the time).

As much as we love our babies, however, for most of us pregnancy is a necessary evil to be endured and then forgotten as quickly as possible. My favorite pregnancy joke: little boy to little girl in the bathroom, “Let’s play pregnant. I’ll shave and you throw up.”

I don’t understand it, but some people actually claim to enjoy the whole thing and even declare they blossom or something. More power to them. Most of the women I knew just got fat and teary. Then when our babies are overdue (as most of mine were), we become “not a nice person,” as my sister said.

When you have other little ones at the same time, it gets even harder. One poor woman was newly PG with her third child. She said all she could do was lie on the couch with a loaf of bread beside her. She let her kids watch all the TV they wanted and when they got fussy, she tossed them a piece of bread. Frankly, you feel drowsy and lethargic because your body is busy elsewhere. Listen to your body and get as much rest as possible because you won’t get much rest again for about eighteen years.

Recognizing these symptoms in yourself prepares you to be a parent of a small child. You may notice that food tastes and smells different to you, probably stronger than before. Later, you understand when your child has such strong likes and dislikes. Also, you’ll probably notice that when you’re hungry, you have to eat now and can’t wait for a regular meal. Or when you’re tired, you need a nap immediately, not later when it’s more convenient. When you do get overly tired, your emotions are almost too much for you to handle.

As you get bigger and more awkward you’ll slow down, and everyone will have to wait while you get in and out of cars. When you have to go to the bathroom, you have to go right now, and it doesn’t matter if you “went before you left home.” Don’t forget these feelings. You’ll have greater empathy when your little one has a meltdown because she’s tired or hungry, or when you wait hours for a two-year-old to get into and out of a car seat, then stops suddenly and says, “Potty!”

Next time: Doctors

Judy - A New Series of Posts about Parenting #1

   

Years ago, when I was in the middle of my child-raising years, I wanted to write a book about my experiences. When I started having babies, I thought I'd have two or three, like normal people. But somewhere along the way I lost all control and any sense of responsibility and ended up with nine kids. Therefore, after 30 years of newborns, toddlers and teens, not to mention being pregnant for seven and a half years, I've had lots of experience. I was going to call the book,  "Rainbows Over the Diaper Pail: A Mother of Nine Shows How to Raise Awesome Children."

I was going to explain that I'd dealt with everything from the baby's first fall to falling out of trees, from bee stings to lice to pinworms, from sibling rivalry to sibling revolt. Sometimes I experienced the whole gamut of childhood in one day—just as the current baby was sleeping through the night, 2:00 am found me in the high school parking lot waiting for the band to come home. I knew I was good at what I did because my children all turned out to be bright, happy, responsible people who never required me to post bail.

The book was never published because life happened along the way and now, somehow, I'm a grandmother of forty. But I still have my notes and this blog so I'm going to combine the two in the hope that somebody somewhere can benefit from my hard-won wisdom. In the next post we'll start at the beginning and talk about the consequences of conception—pregnancy.

The Truest Meaning of Safe Sex / Lloyd

Los Angeles Temple -- June 1967

It’s utterly remarkable to me that this year Judy & I will have in our family 20 adults and, through birth and adoption, 40 grandchildren. For us all in this turbulent world safety is everyone returning home to Heavenly Father. That is the ultimate purpose of family--getting everyone home safe.

It’s a wonder to me that a man and a women can coax a being from the spiritual realm into mortality by offering a physical body to that son or daughter of God. Mormon knowledge is that through the Atonement of Christ and obedience to the process laid out by Heavenly Father, families can be sealed together in Temples--either by being married by designated authority and having children within that marriage covenant or by qualifying to be sealed as a family unit of parents and children. Then they need to live the rest of their lives appropriately.

In a very real sense the only expression of human sexuality that allows for families and members of families to return safely to the presence of God, our Heavenly Father, and enjoy the blessing of continuing family is within the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. And those marriages and sealings are performed by authority in Temples of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Such is the truest definition and context of Safe Sex.

I Like the Jewish Version of New Years Better / Judy

During the early years of our marriage we lived in Brooklyn while my husband went to graduate school at Yeshiva University, a private Jewish school in New York City. We lived in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood where some of the older people still had concentration camp tattoos on their forearms. The first September we were there, I was startled to hear people wishing each other "Happy Holidays," and "Happy New Year." In September?

I learned about the High Holy Days:  Rosh Hashanah (New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). During this holiday time, Psalm 27 is added to morning and evening prayers. I especially appreciate these verses from the Psalm:

 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...

 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple…

 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me…

 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

The month preceding Rosh Hashanah is designated as a month of introspection and repentance. It is customary to increase the giving of charity and to ask forgiveness from anyone you have wronged.

This  always seemed a better approach to the New Year than making foolish and meaningless "resolutions." In January the frenetic pace of the holidays is past and might be a good time for quiet contemplation.

• Let's make it a time of reflection on our lives and consider where we have need of repentance.  
• Let's increase our charity towards others, with both time and resources.
• Let's try to increase our awareness of and sensitivity to their needs and suffering.
• And let's ask forgiveness of those we have harmed in any way and at the same time, forgive those who have wronged us.

Perhaps this would continue the sweet spirit of Christmas as we re-consecrate our lives to God. Then we might be able to say with the psalmist, "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life…"  And we can face the upcoming year with greater courage and peace, no matter what it brings.

Everyday Members in Concert with the Three Nephites / Lloyd

everyday members in concert 

with the three nephites

introduction

My first 6 years of life were cast in the 1940’s, a time of great  upheaval worldwide, a time of war and need for miracles.  In my early life I heard many stories regarding the Three Nephites helping members in need, but I haven’t heard such stories at all for many years now. They were similar to tales about “Eliyohu hanovi” (Elijah the Prophet) that I encountered studying Yiddish at the YIVO in Manhattan.  The Three Nephites and Eliyohu hanovi are translated beings (beings who didn’t taste death) who minister to God’s children in times of exigency and need.

Then I heard about Lara Kerr and Marina related below. I’ve thought perhaps the Lord’s people have reached the point where they are sufficiently sensitive to the Spirit’s prompting to bless others in need that the Three Nephites aren’t called upon so much.  For that reason the original title for this blog was “Everyday Members Instead of the Three Nephites.”

But just today a friend quietly shared a very personal and sacred experience that attested to the continuing reality of translated beings administering among us. Perhaps our people have learned that sacred things from the Lord are not to be shared at all without permission or spiritual prompting. Perhaps the Three Nephites and Eliyohu hanovi are as active as ever, especially when circumstances require the heavy lifting. They are now joined by many spiritually attuned men and women of faith who reach out in sacrifice and love.

At any rate as you read this account of the Lord prompting Lara to bless a stranger in her time of great need consider the Lord’s desire that His people be the salt and leavening to all God’s children to make life bearable and give hope in darkening times.  Seems very appropriate to share this account of God, Lara, and Marina at this season of the year — the season of lights.

marina

[A true account taken from Lara’s personal journal without editing except for the change in Marina’s name to honor privacy.]

     Years ago when I was building a house, I made a weekly trek down to a building supply store an hour away because the prices were better. One night as I left the store, I had the distinct impression to go back inside and give fifty dollars to the cashier. I tend to get odd promptings at times, but this one seemed even stranger than usual. Mine was a very familiar face in that store, but I still felt uncomfortable about obeying the prompting.

     First, I was on an extremely tight budget. Fifty dollars would be sorely missed from my budget. Second, I wondered if the young cashier would think I was hitting on her. Third, I didn’t know how I could explain promptings to someone who looked so very tough. Marina had gang tattoos on her arms and on one hand. Her clothing, jewelry, language, and hair suggested a lifestyle far different from my sheltered life. I didn’t want to offend her.

     I drove away from the store, but the prompting kept returning. I argued with the Lord, offering all my objections and fears. Each “but, Lord” was answered with a quiet “Give her the money.” Finally I protested that I had the fifty dollars cash in my wallet, but I didn’t have anything to put it in. I was hesitant to have anyone see me handing her cash. I felt the urge to go into a Staples store and ask for an envelope. Feeling foolish, I did, explaining that I had a bit of an emergency. I returned to Marina’s work and hesitantly approached her, my hands shaking. She smiled, but her face said, “What did I do wrong?” I waited till there were no other customers in her line and then I handed her the envelope.

     “Don’t take this wrong, OK? I don’t know how to explain it to you, but I had the undeniable feeling that I should give this to you.” Her jaw dropped, and she opened the envelope. When she saw the money, her eyes filled and she looked at me with shock—and with obvious relief.  She counted the bills, and then she asked me how I knew.

     Tears streaming, she whispered, “You just saved my life.” By that time, I was crying, too. I said it was hard to explain, but I couldn’t deny the feeling. I told her I was nervous and feared she’d think I was being inappropriate, or that I was crazy.

     “I asked my family. I asked my friends. No one would lend me the money. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Then you walked in, a stranger—well, you’re not really a stranger, but you know what I mean...” She told me thank you, but I kept telling her to thank God, because He let me help her.

     “I’ll pay you back,” she whispered. Just then another customer came up to her checkstand, so I left. She never got the chance to explain why fifty dollars would save her life, but it didn’t really matter. I drove home, choking up every time I thought about the softening of her ordinarily hard and street-wise face as she whispered, “You saved my life.”

     I was in that store every Friday night for months, and I usually saw Marina. From time to time, she’d discreetly hand me two dollars or five dollars; and eventually, she paid it all back. She even sent me a small bouquet of flowers with a florist’s card saying she that hoped I wasn’t offended that she got my name and address from my check. No; I wasn’t offended. I was touched. I kept the little blue vase as a reminder of how much we need to listen to promptings.

     I saw Marina a few years after my house was finished. She was dressed in a soft blouse and her makeup was subdued and pretty. Her hairstyle was flattering and no longer extreme. She ran up to me, beaming, and extended her arms to show me something. Her very dark Hispanic skin bore swirly, cloud-like scars left by the tattoo removal. To me, it was so beautiful. It spoke of humbling; of safety; of change.

     “There’s a doctor here who lasers off gang tattoos for free,” she explained. “He took them all away for me.” She told me she had stopped hanging around with her gang-affiliated friends. She went back to school and became a medical assistant. She was working in a doctor’s office and she was happy.  This chance encounter—this “payback”—was a greater gift to me than the repaying of my dollars. I felt as though I’d been allowed to be a part of a transformation, a rebirth, an act of saving someone who clearly was precious to her Heavenly Father, because He didn’t let up until I listened to His plea to help rescue Marina.

— Lara Kerr  August 2013