Memories of Our Own / Judy

wedding brainstorm

We had a fairly inexpensive wedding but I thought it was VERY nice. The only thing I did for it was to buy my dress; our two mothers and the Relief Society took care of everything else. My parents arranged for a friend to take the pictures and that is the one aspect that could have been better. Most of the pictures had part of his glasses through them. The best ones were the candid shots of the reception.

We held our reception in a room (smaller than the cultural hall) at the church. I don't remember any decorations, but maybe there were some. I might not have been noticing very much. Someone had made the cake and I did have a bouquet, but I really don't think I chose them. Unlike most people, I didn't have very strong opinions about them.

For our honeymoon, my parents let us take their car and gas credit card and someone gave us $50 and that's all we had. We went to Disneyland and were able to stay for free at a nearby motel owned by one of Lloyd's aunts. Of course we could only be away for three days, then we had to come back so Lloyd could leave for boot camp. He was gone for six weeks while I lived at home and continued to work as a waitress. Our real married life (so far it just felt like a big date) began when he returned and we went to Philadelphia.

The bottom line was that the wedding was a fun party, not too big, but with most of our friends and family. And the marriage has lasted over 40 years.

Originally posted by Judy in Wedding Brainstorm on 19 Jan 2010

It's About The People / Guest

wedding brainstorm

At the end of the day the most important thing about weddings is the people.  A chance to bring families together to celebrate.

With that in mind it is important not to let little details create arguments that annoy and antagonize everyone helping.

Arrange the ceremony and reception to maximize opportunities for people to mingle and catch up.  To laugh and celebrate together.  

One thing I recall from my wedding and receptions is that there are groups of experience at weddings.

The first is the experience of the couple getting married.  They will be in their own little world together and not remember a whole heck of a lot from the whole experience.  Good thing there are pictures.  So set things up and then everyone else should be nice to them on their day.  They'll be followed around by photographers/video cameras a lot.  Helpful folks will direct them here and there for pictures, cake, dancing, sitting, standing, etc.

The next group is family who all know each other and chat up a storm.  If you've got several siblings then everyone has probably done the wedding thing before and its just a great excuse to all get together again.  

Lastly there are people that your parents invite who chat cordially with everyone else but don't necessarily know a great many people.  Note to couple:  let your parents invite them since they bring gifts too and it will make your parents happy and you'll be oblivious anyway.

Weddings are about people;  the couple committing to each other, God and society.  About families getting together to celebrate.  Focus the events on maximizing these relationships.

Originally posted by Sonian in Wedding Brainstorm on 25 Feb 2010

When To Have The Reception / Guest

wedding brainstorm

After our wedding we had a brief lunch with those who attended the ceremony and then we were off on our honeymoon.  Then a week later we had the formal reception back home with family and friends.

Now this strategy of separating the wedding and reception has several benefits:

First, it reduces stress and exhaustion on the wedding couple who have enough going on that day without making it longer into the night with a reception.  You'll want to boogie on your own way as soon as possible.

Second, it allows the bride to wear her dress on two different days.  Because let's face it you spent a ton on that dress you might want to get more than one day's use out of it.

Third, the experience of the wedding is extended from the wedding itself to the honeymoon and then a reception before beginning blissful life together; the reception as a capstone of the festivities.

Originally posted by Sonian in Wedding Brainstorm on 25 Feb 2010

Wedding Brainstorm: How To Ensure The Marriage Ceremony Isn't Lost In The Shuffle Of The Wedding / Lloyd

My nephew called to say he was planning to get married, and the going rate for a full wedding in their area was about $28,000. We've enjoyed 8 wedding celebrations with our children without being overwhelmed by expenses. He wondered if he could bounce a few ideas off us. So our family put together a Blog: Wedding Brainstorm to facilitate the conversation.

Many of us have recounted our personal wedding experiences. But Tuesday I posted an article from a community that bewails the expectation to have wedding budgets in the six-figure range--typically from $150,000 to $300,000.

Although reading the article gave me the feeling that I was eavesdropping (like a fly on the wall), this extreme example of expensive weddings and the pressures and resulting negative emotions expressed (especially in the comment section) helped me get a better grasp of the dynamics involved even for weddings with much smaller budgets.

If there's a wedding in your future, you may find the postings at Wedding Brainstorm interesting, even helpful. Please feel free to comment and join in the conversation. Rules for keeping the discussion upbeat and constructive are posted.