Our 2009 Family Reunion--Ben was performing in Les Miserables and couldn't join us. |
There’s
a little shop and garden that Judy and I enjoy whenever we visit
Cambria on the Central Coast. It features aromatic herbs and gardens and fun
odds and ends. On our last visit we purchased a wooden heart that reads: All
Because Two People Fell in Love. We’ve hung it next to our family photo.
Beginning
at Thanksgiving each year I meditate and pray about my central focus for the
coming year. Two years ago it was “Love your wife and meet her needs.” That year
I was afraid that I might lose her to illness. She was exhibiting symptoms
which seemed a lot like congestive heart failure--very frightening. Several
months later she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and began to improve with
treatment.
This
second year the answer was, “Make Judy the center of your life.” After 50 years
of dating and marriage I would have thought that these themes were solidly in
place. Apparently not at the level Heavenly Father knows we need to achieve.
When
I was hospitalized in Frederick, MD with clinical depression, Bishop Glen
Tayler told us that other couples working through similar difficulties turned
on each other and mostly split up. He said that in contrast Judy and I held on
tighter and our marriage was strengthened.
There
was a time just before my hospitalization when I said something about divorce.
Judy responded: This marriage isn’t about you or about me or even about us but
about our commitment to the institution of covenant marriage and there will be
no more talk about divorce. That’s just sick thinking. Subsequently we’ve
learned that should I ever have these negative thoughts again it’s symptomatic
of illness and we need to stop, drop, and roll; i.e. seek immediate
professional help.
The
most powerful unit in the universe is a covenant marriage--consider worlds
without end. It doesn't take much to figure that Satan will do all he can to
drive a wedge between husband and wife. It might even be his main focus.
Whenever any of us feels negatively toward our wife or husband let there be red
flags waving and alarms blaring: Run, don't walk. This is spiritual, perhaps
physical or emotional pathology. Get help now. Don't claw at each other or turn
inward--cutting yourself off from the other; rather hold each other tight and live.
Wonderful, thank you. You guys are an inspiration to all. My husband and I are working on it too...we're definitely getting closer.
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